Esther Tela Free speaks

You woke me up

Boogie on

One of the most amazing experiences I’ve ever had was in the front row of a Phish show when they played a 21 or so minute Boogie On Reggae Woman. I was surrounded with friends. I was in the front 5 rows with those 20 or so friends and I was with someone I really cared about and go to share it with him. He is one of the ex’s I have that I have no animosity towards. We dated for a few years and had some really good times. I moved to Oregon with him. We crossed the country together a couple of times. The first time in a bright yellow VW bus. His dreads causing us concern that the cops would pull us over and they did. Somewhere between Wisconsin and Montana those blue and reds lit up and we had to explain who we were and what we were doing. I have fond memories of that bright yellow VW bus who was named Sunshine when I was her part time owner. I still go up a hill in Portland and think of the first time I tried to go up it in Sunshine. I dragged her gears so much I swear she swore at me in VW Bus language. She was a fickle machine who took me many miles. I laughed til I couldn’t see to drive in her one night. I also spent hours at a machine shop in hopes of getting home with her too. Driving a VW is like owning a petulant child.

She broke down in Vegas and that was ugly. She ended up being left in an airport while we rented a car to get home. She just didn’t have enough energy to get all of us home and CB had to get to a flight. We ended up stopping at Lake Shasta and while I can’t remember if I swam in the lake, my friends did and I found a picture of them just the other day while cleaning out the storage space I call the ‘magic room’

That brings me to my life. Just posting that I was stuck made the words come out again.

I am cleaning out the last 18 years of my life and it’s amazing how little I have and I am thankful for that. Living a less materialistic life seems to make me happy and it makes moving a heck of a lot easier.

November 16, 2017 Posted by | phish, Stream of Consciousness, Sunshine (the vw), traveling, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Laughing, Oakland and chickens?!

The chickens were a nice touch. I needed the laugh big time. I think that’s one of the most impressive things. WHen something so foreign pops up and then I laugh my ass off exactly when I need it.

I went to Oakland for the weekend. It was my first flight without opiates to deal with the chronic pain. I lost my headphones and was worried I wouldnt have MY drug, music, with me. But I was able to procure a set of ear buds to keep me happy when I needed my ‘fix’.

I met some wonderful people. P family was in full effect and I hope one day to thank HS. He was the most visiable calming thing out in that crowd and for that I will be forever grateful. I don’t know if he knows I went backstage for the first time because of him. ANd he’s done some really wonderful kind things in this world and deserves nothing but the joy he seems to experience when at a show (as evidenced by the big grin he always seems to have)

Nothing can break me down
Dont need no advice
I got a plan

I know a few of you were there. I sensed it but was too afraid to say hello. I wishi I had more guts then I do in some situations but I guess we always have to work on oursevles and my anxiety is where I have a lot of learning to do.

Certified lean

THe magic is still very much around. Chickens. 2 of em. A block and a half from my house. THe usual signs are there which makes me happy. I am comforted by those things that are random. Because nothing, nothing, is random.

November 6, 2017 Posted by | Oakland, P Family, Stream of Consciousness, traveling, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment