Esther Tela Free speaks

You woke me up

And the pitch…

The ball has been released from the strong hand that has been holding tight to this little idea. I think the idea was always there. Is this fly on the wall part 3? Or just a new chapter in part 2? The ball is heading straight for the middle of the catcher’s mitt. Going as fast as the pitcher has ever thrown in his career. It’s not the 7th game of the world series or anything but it is an important game in the middle of a playoff run with the potential for winning it all on the horizon if the path meanders that way.

There is always the possibility of a wild pitch as well. All paths have to be accounted for. Even the ones that I can’t see. I have to remember to keep walking. If I don’t take that hike then I won’t ever go down the path that might lead to the happiness and joy that I’ve been feeling lately. I’m really honestly happy. Im living life pretty damn well on my own for the first time in my life. And I’m pretty old. I had no idea that after 40 some years of being in a relationship or marriage, I’d find such joy and happiness on my own. I guess this was one of the lessons that the Universe wanted me to learn. That and patience of course. I don’t know if I’ll ever learn that one. I’m horribly impatient. I want things to happen right away.

The ball has stalled in its traverse towards the target. Something has frozen time and there is nothing for the pitcher to do but look around as best he can at the still stick figures and white and red-threaded ball that has broken the laws of the reality that was before the world mysteriously stopped spinning.

In the ether. In the in between there is a place. With no eyes. With ears. To keep you tethered to the world. That’s where you do nothing but feel. And while you’d think it’d be nice to live there 24 hours a day. I don’t know if anyone’s soul could handle that. I think we are meant to straddle the other in betweens.

The ball slowly starts dribbling back in its pre-determind orbit decided by the curve of the pitcher’s fingers and placement of it on his knuckles. I feel the tilt of t he earth as the rotation continues. Reality is back. It was nice visiting that other place but right now, as things go, I really want to keep life going here. I’m desperately afraid it will implode. Or explode because I’m so happy. But maybe it’s the Universe giving me some good times.

After 15 years of fear and anxiety.

 

August 26, 2017 - Posted by | Stream of Consciousness | , , , , , , , , ,

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